Looking out onto the horizon....

I want to start this post by apologizing for my last entry. After reading it, I thought I was rather rude to my followers. I should have explained more how I felt. I think I am going through some sort of mid-life crisis. I have been really snarky lately and not very patient.

You see I am (gulp) 47 years old and have no direction. I left my career as a Programmer Analyst with a Fortune 10 company about 9 years ago to raise my precious daughter. My days were filled with playgroups, mommy and me activities, taking her to and from school. Now my days are filled with being her taxi and personal assistant. How did this happen?

My child had the nerve to grow-up. She needs her momma less now. I feel more like the sideline cheerleader to her life other than the main character. She is ten and wants to do everything by herself and we are in a power struggle almost everyday. I don’t want to give up control and she wants to be in the driver’s seat. I feel sorry for my husband because he has been getting in the middle of this struggle. Poor guy. I want her to stay the three year old who needed me for everything. From getting dressed in the morning to what should she eat. If I can’t handle her being ten, god knows what I am going to be like when she goes to college. I need a new purpose in life. One that will fulfill me and give me something to forward to.

What can a 47 year old dwarf woman who has been out of the workforce for nine something years do? I am thinking about going back to school. I have been taking a few community college classes to brush up on my programming skills. I honestly don’t like programming but you always fall back to what you know. It is rather tedious work and under appreciated. I thought of getting a degree in history. I love learning about life in the past and how it can impact the future. The only problem what can you do with a degree in history? I really don’t want to be a teacher. Another truly under appreciated profession. I would probably get fired anyway if I was a teacher. I would be telling the parents what I really thought of their precious child. It would not go over well.

Motivation is what I need the most. I need to stop feeling like a cow that has been put out to pasture. I need to tap into my inner youth who was not afraid to try and do anything. A new chapter should start instead of feeling like ending. I will keep you posted on this journey. I am sure it will be a lot of laughs.

In other news, I am going to be updating this blog with new graphics and more tales of what is it really like to be four foot tall and a mom. I still owe you the story of how me and my husband met, adventures in grocery shopping and why dwarfs hate being recognized as someone else. The later is a pet peeve of mine.

Until then have fun and enjoy the weather.


Thanks for listening!

Back from the dead.....???

I am not one of those bloggers that are compelled to write about every fart, burp or hiccup that occurs in my life. If my life is running on the mundane side, I don’t feel the need to bore you with the details!

That’s how life has been going these days. Running its course without any (knock on wood) farts, burps or hiccups.
I like life this way! I am not a mama for drama.

Ashley is on break so we took a little trip to Charleston, SC and then to Atlanta. While in Atlanta, we visited the Georgia Aquarium. In my honest opinion it is the best aquarium ever. Trust me. You actually feel like you are one with the fish.The aquarium just opened a Dolphin show that is fantastic!If you are in the Atlanta area or going to Atlanta, the Georgia Aquarium is a must!



While in Atlanta, I met up with my dearest friend from High School. She is the only person I am still close to from my childhood. Lisa has stuck with me through thick and thin over the years. She always had my back in High School. Nobody messed or teased me with Lisa around. She would have kicked their butts sideways! It was fun having our families meet at the Aquarium. Ashley loved meeting/playing with Lisa’s daughter and son. It is the best feeling in the world to see your children become friends with
your BFF’s kids!



I try to keep this blog as real as possible. I will not write stories that are not true for the sake of the blog. I want to give you a glimpse of what life is really like for a dwarf. There are no writers or TV producers making my life look glamorous and extraordinary. Sometimes life is boring no matter what height you are. If I don’t write for a while, life is just moving along. After all, dwarfs have boring periods of life just like everyone else!

On that note....

Until the next time something worth writing about happens, take care and be safe!

Monday Morning

Another Monday morning is here and another week starts with a pile of laundry. Not a very romantic way to start Valentines Day.

One of the best inventions know to man and many dwarfs alike is the front load washing machine. As soon as these came on the market, I wanted one. My top load machine became my enemy over the years. Especially after Ashley came. I used to literally climb into the machine to pull out the clothes. One day I fell in. My legs were dangling out! Yes, it was a hysterical sight to behold! My husband was laughing more than helping me get out. Eventually I wiggled myself out of the machine with the help of God. That was the day that laundry became my enemy!

Happiness was the day that the machine caught on fire. I called the fire department with glee. When the captain told me the machine was kaput, I did the happy dance. The front load machine was within my reach. No more did I have to worry about falling into the wash machine, no longer was laundry my enemy. Anything that makes life easier, is a special occasion for us short people!

Today I am happily doing laundry. It is a good day in the house overall. The sun is shining. I believe the worse of winter is over. Best of all, my husband told me to make sure I answer the door today because I am getting a surprise! I love surprises, especially from my husband.

Take care and have a Happy VD day!

Time

Time goes through your hands like sand. Honestly it does. One minute I am a girl of sixteen, next I am a middle aged mom of a nine year old. How the hell did this happen. When did my life change 360 degrees without me knowing? It’s pretty scary.

I am going through some sort of mid-life crisis right now. I thought I would blog about it to see if anyone else can sympathize.

The goals I set for myself at sixteen, I never accomplished. I wanted to be a Fashion Buyer for a department store. That never happened. Even though I got accepted to Fashion Institute of Technology in NYC, my dad would not let me go. He thought if I wanted to become a buyer, I should just start working the counter at Macy and skip college all together.

I came from an era where if your dad said ‘NO’, no it was. You did not question. You just followed. Unlike today when you say ‘no’ to your child, it’s just an opinion, not law.

This is one of my regrets in my life. I should have figured out a way to go to New York City on my own. I was too scared and too confused.

My new reflections of my life then and now came this week from connecting with an old friend. He was a good friend of mine when I was sixteen and the world was my oyster. Unfortunately I didn’t know it at the time.

I am glad that I had such good friends when I needed them. I wish I could find my inner sixteen year old spirit. She is in there somewhere. I just need to pull her out. My balance is out of whack and I hope it will return soon. I am sure it will.

Sometimes you hate to admit it but...

Hey All! How is your New Year treating you? I hope you are doing fine.

Gals you know that you are going to cringe with this next statement but it needs to be said. Sometimes I should just listen to my husband. GASP! I know I just broke one of the golden rules of sisterhood.

I had to eat crow this week which is never a good thing in a marriage.

Here is the story. Back when we were deciding what to get Ashley for christmas. Rich and I both thought it would be nice to give her a camera. She has shown an interest in photography. We thought it would be fun for her to have her own.

Richard being of practical mind wanted to get one of those low price digital cameras. You know the ones at the check-out counter in Target or Walmart. I on the other hand wanted to get her a good digital camera. I thought a cheap camera would break easily and we would be buying her another camera in a year. My first error in judgement.

Okay I’ll confess. I really wanted the Nikon Coolpix and I saw a way to get it. There I said it. You see after Richard bought me the Nikon D40, I have been officially banned from any new cameras for the next 200 years. Ashley getting a camera was the light at the end of a dark tunnel. I figured it would be her camera but mommy can borrow it. Pretty clever huh?

My con game worked. Rich agreed to buy the Coolpix for Ashley.

Christmas finally arrived. Ashley had no clue about the camera. She shrieked with delight upon opening the gift. I taught her how to use the camera and gave her the rules. I needed to know when she was going to use the camera. She just couldn’t take it and use it. The photo shoot would have to be mother approved. Ashley happily agreed to the rules.



It was great timing for the camera. North Carolina had it’s first white Christmas in about 40 years. Ashley darted outside and took the best pictures of the snow and scenery. I thought I was raising the next Annie Leibowitz! All was great in the world. Little did I know dark clouds were forming.

Three days later, my budding Annie Lebowitz decided to take the camera with her while she was roller blading. She thought it would be cool to take pictures on her roller blades. Now this was not a pre-approved photo shoot. If it was, the answer would have been ‘over my dead body you are going to take pictures with your new camera while on roller blades’.

Not only was she on roller blades with the camera but rolling blading down the hills. Can you guess what happened next? Oh I am sure you can. She fell on top of the camera and broke the lens. The lens would not go back into the camera. Something I am sure that could be fixed by a professional. Ashley decided to cut out the middleman and try and fix it herself.
This made the problem worse. After figuring out the camera is kaput. She hid the camera in her closet.

Now speed ahead to this week. Ashley and I are going to her Girl Scout Cookie Rally. I told Ashley that she could take her camera to the rally. I trusted her with the camera. Ashley very innocently replied ‘I can’t’. ‘Why’ I asked not so sweetly. ‘Because it is broken’ Ashley said with fear in her eyes.

She finally spilled the beans about the whole situation. I was livid. I told her to go to her room, that I needed to cool off. My husband had the 'I told you so’ expression on his face. I hate that! I don’t know if he was more mad at me for getting her the camera or her for hiding it.

Ashley was properly punished. She has to unload the dishwasher until she is 21 and was grounded from all activities for a week. My punishment was hearing about the ills of buying a 9 year old a good camera.

The camera is now in a box on his desk while we figure out if Nikon is going to fix it or not. Like the mother I am, I bought a replacement camera. Ashley does not know I have a new replacement camera. She has to earn it back. I am thinking by the time she turns thirty, she can have it.

The new Coolpix was 50.00 cheaper than the first camera! Another lesson I learned from this fiasco. If you are purchasing a camera for a Christmas gift, buy it the day after Christmas!

Bottom line, once in every ten years of marriage, your husband can be right.

DJD

I am back!

Happy New Year to all! I am glad to say ‘I am back’! I took a break for a while to take care of myself. I am happy to say that I am twenty pounds lighter and still going down! I feel a thousand times better too. I am no longer tired and slug like. I am motivated to stay healthy.

I am also getting brave too. As you can see, I finally posted a pic of myself! What a shock! In the past, I have always hated pictures of myself. I just don’t like the way I look. I don’t know if this is a dwarf thing or a woman thing but it’s been a lifelong hang-up. My husband feels the same way too. Believe it or not we have never looked at our wedding video! We really don’t like to look at ourselves. I am getting better though. I allowed this picture to be taken of me when we were at Hilton Head in October. Oh by the way, I am 10 pounds lighter from when this picture was taken.

I apologize for being a bad blogger. I promise that will not happen again! Stay tuned because I feel 2011 is going to be very interesting!

Miss you all!

DJD